Run number: 45
Date: 5th February 2011.
Point A: The Otter Inn, Colaton Raleigh.
Hares: PP and FF
The
hash gathered on a surprisingly warm afternoon at The Otter Inn. After a
short while, Man-Pig attempted to call the hash to order. I say
attempted, because the pack seemed unable arrange itself into a simple
circle – instead creating some kind of ‘blob’ type formation. And taking
the hash photo was no easier – with a degree of confusion as to whether
we were meant to be looking towards the hedge or towards the camera! To
be on the safe side, I understand a photo of each version was taken.
Despite the dodgy circle, and the confusion over the photo, Man-Pig
decided to get on with proceedings anyway; HIV was nominated RA for the
day and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up being
nominated for the words!
By this time, the ‘blob’ had managed to form
a shape which, arguably, did at least kind of resemble a circle.
Looking around, it was clear that there were a number of A2B virgins in
the pack, who were then called to the centre of the circle and asked to
say their name and who had made them come. Strangely, despite not being
present himself, it seemed that Spockybitz had been responsible for
making several of the virgins come!! Whether or not these two points
were connected seemed to be a recurring theme of discussion throughout
the afternoon!
After a briefing from the hares, the hash started with
a check in the pub car park. Eventually, ‘On-On’ was called, and we
headed west along a small lane which turned into a track and led to the
first long/short split. The pace was already picking up amongst the
FRB’s but, being native to East Devon, I had a feeling that the long
climb onto Woodbury Common might soon be upon us. And, sure enough,
after the long trail rejoined the short trail, it began and I was glad I
hadn’t started off too fast.
Soon, we arrived at the first re-group,
which was on the edge of Woodbury Common, next to a ford. Once everyone
was there, we set off – only to find another re-group about 20 metres
further up the track. Another much shorter re-group then took place,
before PP and FF told us we were being silly and we’d best carry on! So
we did, and soon found the second long/short split.
The longs carried
on up the hill, before running back down to join the shorts again. It
was then, as we went into Uphams Plantation, that the fun began! It soon
became apparent that another hash had recently been in the woods too!
Since it was me who had laid the ‘other trail’ for the Otter hash on the
previous Thursday, I thought I’d keep a low profile and see what
happened. Well, it was chaos! And when I arrived at a junction to
discover most of the pack participating in a ‘mass-debate’ about who’s
hash they were following, I thought I’d better own up. It turned out
that our cunning hares, PP and FF, had been very eco-friendly by
recycling some trail, and we soon found our way to the first beer stop.
The relief amongst the pack was clear to all to see!
But, there were
some hounds missing!......little did we know, further drama was
unfolding in the woods! Strongbow and a few others were busy rescuing
Soapy (I think!), who was injured, and was being taken to another car
park to meet FF in his car. This meant that, after setting up the beer
stop, FF had to abandon all the beer and leave it in the ‘responsible’
hands of the pack! A dangerous move, but, fortunately, PP soon arrived
to restore some order! Disaster averted!
The hash then continued
across the Common, with more eco-friendly trail recycling taking place,
before we arrived at the third long/short split. The longs ran a long
loop around part of the Common before enjoying the descent to Squabmoor
Reservoir car park. Minibar decided to run up and down the hill a couple
of times…..well, he didn’t decide to, he just wasn’t looking hard
enough for the trail and didn’t see the ‘On’ dot first time around!
We
FRB’s then managed to overshoot a very important arrow, which pointed
to the second beer stop. I’m not sure how we managed that, because we
had That’s Crap with us, who can normally smell these things from a mile
away! It seemed that the shorts couldn’t understand it either, because,
once FF had eventually managed to get us back to the beer stop, they
were ‘mass-debating’ again!......this time about how we’d nearly missed
the beer!
Next it was ‘On On’ along the shore of the reservoir to the
final long/short split. At this point, it was reported that Two Secs
had randomly charged off in a different direction. Why?, we did not know
at the time, but it later emerged that she was chasing men on bikes!
(not for the first time by all accounts!). In the mean time, the longs
were running around the woods near Dalditch Farm, and eventually
re-joined the shorts not far from the split.
By this time, I had made
up my mind that B was going to be in East Budleigh – but at which pub?
We charged down off the Common, and with other FRB’s sensing that B may
be close, the pace began to increase again – although, clearly, this was
aided by the refreshingly downhill gradient!
Point B turned out to
be at the Rolle Arms, which is conveniently located next to a bus stop.
Fortunately, for Strongbow, who had forgotten to put a spare pair of
shoes in his bag, there wasn’t long to wait for the bus back to point A.
However, it was long enough for some of the pack to find the bar….and
then to miss the bus!! In the meantime, the majority of the pack waited
patiently at the bus stop, which duly arrived on time and was pretty
much empty…until we got on! The driver looked somewhat puzzled as to why
so such a rabble wanted to get from East Budleigh to Colaton Raleigh at
1620 in a Saturday afternoon! Troy explained as we got on the bus, but
to no avail! I think the driver thought we were mad – which I guess
could be considered an understandable thought!
As the bus approached
point A, it passed Man-Pigs son (Man-Piglet, I think…at least that will
do for the purposes of these words because I know no better!!), who had
finished watching the rugby and was making his way to the pub. So, as
soon as we got back to the car park, Man-Pig jumped in his car to
collect Man-piglet and save him the walk down the road. However, while
his dad’s back was turned, Man-piglet had clearly managed to thumb a
lift as he was sat comfortably in the pub enjoying a pint while
wondering what was making Man-Pig take so long to get from the bus stop
to the bar!!
Miss Whiplash, I’m told, was nervous about going to the
on-down. Unusual for any hasher, but it seems that Miss Whiplash was
once banned from The Otter Inn and, being a law abiding person, hadn’t
been back since. She snuck in behind some other hashers, and no one
seemed to notice!!
Good food and beer was served in the pub – which
was a good thing, because it was a long wait for the ‘circle’. I think
Paperwork and Sorepoint were being widely blamed for the delay –
apparently it was something to do with them ordering the biggest meal
ever seen this on side of the Atlantic!
We eventually moved outside
for the circle. By which time though, some of HIV’s best laid plans were
ruined…….half the people who had ‘earned’ down-downs had escaped –
clearly with guilty minds! Despite this the circle proceeded with HIV
making it up on the spot! He did a very good job, but I can’t remember
who got the down-downs!...other than the hares (for being the hares),
possibly Spockeybitz (for only coming to the on-down), and Two Secs (for
chasing the blokes on bikes). But there were also others!
Thanks to the hares for an excellent hash over some awesome terrain.
On On!,
Cousteau.
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