September 2018 words

March 2018 there was no trail nor words due to the Beast from the East

December 2017 words
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HASH:   4 Nov 2017                                   
VENUE:  Fermoys Garden Centre, Ipplepen        
HARES:  McFee, No Style & Polecat  
We were directed to park away from the garden centre parking and go over near the Birds of Prey area.  Mc Fee told us the usual blurb and reminded us we had to be out of the car park by 5.30 otherwise we would be locked in.  A good gathering of hashers this month with 2 new virgin A2Bers – Scoop Hardlards from Haldon Hash.  Mavis volunteered to be RA Bilko volunteered to scribe.
We jogged thru the village of Ipplepen and then out onto bridlepaths.  About a couple of miles into the trail the shorts came upon a check and despite checking for quite a long way along each path we couldn’t find any marks, in fact Whisperer claims he did an extra 2 miles searching for the correct route.  One of the hares turned up but he hadn’t laid this bit so we were none the wiser.  We were thinking all was lost so went back to the check again and hurrah a hare had been thru and showed us the correct way. 

Paperwork was also having difficulties on the long run, he face dived into a bed of stinging nettles and at one point the longs couldn’t find the trail, this time it wasn’t a hare that rescued them but the shorts.

It must be getting near to Christmas because we had lots of goodies at the first beer stop, cashew nuts as well as our usual salted peanuts and lots of chocolate, unfortunately not enough choc for That’s Crap who turned up just as the last piece was being taken.  We lingered longer than normal at this beer stop, in fact when Paperwork came to move on, he tripped over as a bramble had twined itself around his leg. 
At the 2nd beer stop Larks very kindly left some goodies on the side of a fence so the 6 walkers wouldn’t miss out.
We passed Berry Pomeroy castle – reputably the most haunted castle in Devon, Mavis was studying the info board carefully but when we got closer we realised he was having a pee.  She’s Ready also needed a wee around this time and Woof Woof appeared from behind a bush looking sheepish.  Bilko and Gym Slip also need to go except these two chose the warm toilets by the entrance to the castle. 
At one point Mavis was walking whilst Woof Woof was jogging along beside him, from the back they looked like Laurel and Hardy.
Mavis was taking his RA duties seriously as he was bragging that he had a lot of dirt to dish out on some of the hashers, one hasher declared that at her age she would be glad of even the tiniest bit of dirt to be said about her.  Mind you when we got to the pub the nominations seemed to be lacking as was our RA who had offered to escort Dobby and Wellread, they had to go home early as still recovering from the night before.  Much more interesting to escort 2 lovely ladies home than do his duties as RA.  In fact it was noticed that his flies were undone before he even left the pub!! 
He finally returned and the nominations were:  
Paper Work – for his day of disasters
No Style – for sending us off on false trails
Scouting 4 Boys – who declined a free sample offered at the bar – which turned out to be beer.
There were a couple of others but they had already left.
For the first time in hashing history more water than beer was drunk at the down-downs (not including S4B obviously) 
On ON Bilko

 August  2017

We arrived in the White Cross Car Park to a flustered Larks, not knowing if he was in the right place or not.  The car park wasn’t the largest ever and what with a burnt out car taking up some of the space we had to be creative whilst missing tree stumps. 
Circling up a little later than usual after waiting for TC and SR to arrive, instructions were given and I volunteered to scribe this month.
Off we went out of the car park along a muddy track, this was going to be a bit of a theme this month.  Along we went until we found a bit of a swing. Lets have a play we thought. pic supplied.  Then I thought, I recognise that yellow car - we’re back at the car park - is it a beer stop already?  But no, off we went out of the car park again and over the road to continue the trail.  Tenzing advised me as we ran past that three more hashers had arrived after the off - Flem and Hardon and one hasher he didn’t recognise, who could that be we wondered?  We will have to wait and see.

More trail followed - I never know where I am, but Strava reckons I went through Sudbury at some point.  Think this may be where we found Larks for the first time.  Still no sign of the mystery hasher.
Off we go again, more up than down in my mind.  On one of these downs we came upon some Alpacas being walked on a lead like a dog - well, why not I suppose.
We found Larks again on a grassy bit by the road and the shorts tucked in.  No sign of the longs.  Then, who was to appear, but BellToll - the mystery has been solved!  He had gone long after a late start and not caught up in time for the first regroup, so went short second time round and found us.
Off we went again on another short loop and found Larks again.  This was actually where the beer stop was supposed to be so the sneaky shorts had a third stop and a few more sweeties (I really shouldn’t have opened the cheddars at this point) and off we went again.
We found ourselves on Farway common, then on to a road for a bit of a run in to the Hare and Hounds.  We had arrived!
Excellent run thanks hares, and an excellent pub to finish at.  About a dozen of us stayed after the Down Downs to eat and it was really good food - recommended.

Down Downs went to:

The hares, Brushoff, Tenzing and Grasshopper
The Virgins: Paul and Tequila Sunset (apologies to Pink 2 Lips who should have been included here, but I know her so well I forgot she was a virgin!
Buzby: for visiting at the pub at the end, and not doing the trail

No Style - for missing a puddle

Flower Power - for not listening to the hares

Scouting and Hairy for listening but still getting it wrong!

OnOn till next month.


July 2017
Hares Causteau, Snowy, Hugo and Harry

Location . East Devon county council car park, Sudmouth..
I’m normally known for a 20000 word essay so keeping it a bit shorter so no one falls a sleep reading.

It was another beautiful hot day and around 25 hashers congregated at the East Devon County Council car park. Virgin A2b hasher from otter valley Microphone (sorry if I got the name wrong) quietly introduced herself and thanks from That’s crap were made to Larks vomit for his monthly assistance with the beer stops and 3d for helping with bag transport. It was then over to the hares.

It was a trail of 1 on with 5 long/short splits and a total of 3 beer stops and we’re in for a treat with some of the beautiful scenery. Which also meant lots of hills to see these beautiful views.

Off we went down the grass area and a loop round to the main council building. We took an early river crossing in the park area which was somewhat refreshing for the feet. We then ended up running around some of street roads where we lost chewing gum as a check had been removed. The rest of us carried on for what felt like a long time in the heat to the first beer stop at salcombe Regis.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying the beer stop as we spent quite a while standing around chatting. This was when flour power brought it to my attention that they had been some talk about bottom smacking and the young hares. Never did quite get the full story even at the down down as our RA chewing gum was still missing in action.

We ended up on the south west coast path heading towards Weston where us back hasher came across some rid the faster ones enjoying a dip in the sea. Sorepoint and I took a paddle in the river section that was flowing down before enjoying another upward haul.
It wasn’t long before we were heading towards the beer stop and a few if us took the advantage of a given shirt cut. Although the path seemed to keep going and going. We reached the second beer stop and it was then that twiggy started to worry were her other half was. With a bit of technology on the hash we knew he wasn’t with 3D who had already made his way to a beer garden and was sat enjoying a cider. Just as we were all about to set off on the next leg chewing gum made an appearance. Supplies taken from the beer stop and off he went.

The next part took us in and through the donkey sanctuary but no time to stop for an ice cream. We then completed a figure if 8 and had our 3rd beer stop at the first place which then made sense to a hash Mark we saw earlier on the trail. Back off up another hill and made our way into Sudmouth where again a few took the opportunity to have a dip in the sea.

Off to the on down and the down down went to the below:

The Hares

HIV for refusing a hug from twiggy who had enjoyed a dip in the sea

Ej for chatting to a walker whilst on route.

Paperwork for scaverging off the un eaten food in the pub left by others

Chewing gum getting lost

Snowy for losing his flour container from laying the trail.

Great trail about 10 5 for shorts and 15 for the kings

On on Double D
Next trail 05/08/17 from White Cross c/p, East Hill, Ottery St Mary (SY115924) c/o Tenzig and Brushoff

Hares are still needed for 2nd December.

June A2B Soapy brilliantly retells the events in rhyme

The A to B on 3rd of June, a good one we were certain
Joint with Gispert Gallop at a little place near Merton.
Outside Great Potheridge House we met and circled in the sun
10 years ago Cathusalem said the A to B begun.
The hares That’s Crap and She’s Ready proceeded to explain
Long short splits, one blob and on and all in flour it’s lain.
13 miles the longest and 9.9 the shorter,
Larks was thanked for organizing sweet stop, beer and water.

Ready to leave, as Odd Bitz stood with trousers round his feet
A poor excuse he made up “rubbing muscles with Deep Heat”!
At last we set off up the lane, front runners sped off quick,
four dogs on leads and even had a seagull on a stick! 
Through the yard of Speccott Farm, the weather getting hotter,
then muddy lane joined Tarka Trail (Tarka was an otter).
Whisperer panting up the road, dogs barking by a gate
followed Clouseau and Skippy - catching up ‘cos they were late!
The longs split off to add a mile and around a field they trotted,
“That’s way too far for me” I thought, as S on ground I spotted.
Then Larks was waiting in a drive ‘Barometer World’ on sign
with Jelly Babies, nuts and crisps, Tear Arse and Rise n Shine.
With tired legs we gathered round, at last the longs arrive
we stuffed our faces, quenched our thirsts enough to keep alive.

Around the fields of barley, oats or even wheat,
didn’t have much time to look as carefully watching feet
making sure we didn’t stumble on mud or stones and roots
you’d have to be a farmer to recognise those shoots!
So, I’m Only Here For the Beer educated Slip On Me,
whilst strolling through a meadow saw an orchid like a bee.

Front running B******* took the lead, Spocky and Paper Work
but by mistake someone took Short – Bell Toll, what a berk!

Whisperer was close behind and Buzby up front because……

after losing so much weight s’only half the man he was! 

Walkers struggled 5 long miles, 2nd sweetie stop not far,

this time Larks was parked in layby, serving goodies from his car.

Revived enough to run again – along a path we raced

it started raining so good job we had our macs around our waists.

Kermit lost the plot completely and walked to pub and back,

11 lonely miles he trudged, along the Tarka track.

Bobby and Dozy couldn’t be arsed to check where trail went,

and Piltdown n Georgie missed the run, (as shagging in their tent!)

 they emerged an hour later to find that we had left,

 walked straight to pub avoiding trail, arriving all bereft. 

At last the sun came out and warmed us up whilst running…….
up to the top of a long hill, where scenery was stunning.
At the top X-Bitz collapsed, got empathy from a few
Mavis sarcastically remarked “but it’s worth it for the view!”
Melon Picker had to stop, desperate to wee – poor chap,
with Dobby watching from behind, so U Bend took a snap!
A scary experience – tractor filled the road from edge to edge,
so Piddler squeezed himself in front which shoved me in the hedge!
Crossing the bog of eternal stench, must have been 6 times
probably filled with bugs and ticks - make sure you check for Lymes!
jumping ditches from side to side, quite wide in certain place,
so Lady Buoy just chucked her dog  (you should have seen her face!)
Beyond dark wood, the Tarka Trail we found ourselves again
fish hook and minimal flour blobs washed away by rain.
Steven Seagull looking droopy – so into him I blew ……
Hot Lips feeling ‘lucky’ announced he was poorly too!!!!
We all eventually reached the Laurel Tree to rest,
serving scrumpy cider at £1.50 was the best.
We circled up upon the lawn and RA’s gave out beers,
keeping notes of who done wrong - a number it appears!
Misdemeanours shared amongst the pack - embarrassing a few
I’m sure you will remember if one of them was you……… (‘cos I can’t)
A little problem then arose, how to get back to point A
as 54 knackered hashers horizontally on grass lay.
Juggling cars and drivers back and forth was the intention,
squeezing people into cars -  too many for the suspension!
Sore Point scraped her bottom……(that’s the bottom of her car)
and Bell Toll on returning couldn’t shift HT2 from bar!
Finally, we all made it and ‘day trippers’ returned to spouse,
feeling hot and sweaty the rest showered in the house.
A great day out was had by all, so huge thank you from uz……
on our 10 year celebration (Oh and Happy Birthday Buz!)
Onon Soapy xx                                      


May 2017 Devon A 2 B hash – Cornworthy

Hares Bigfoot Shortie, Rise & Shine and Teararse

As we were driving through the lanes of Cornworthy, we noticed a cyclist struggling up the hill. I thought poor chap, rather him than me and past him with ease in our car. We Drove into a field and parked up. Then in cycled Archangle who looked like he was all ready for the pub. On a cold and wet morning we circled up in our rain jackets expecting a wet hash. That’s Crap asked for volunteers for Scribe and RA, and in moments of weakness Minxy and I volunteered. Hares Rinse n Shine, Tear Arse and Bigfoot (managed by Shortie) started to explain the hash when all attention turned to a blue van driven by Moonflower arriving, first down down being noted for later. As the hares mentioned the long/short routes, bigfoot explained about how he used an elastic band to measure his distances. I don’t think I was the only one who expected an We start off running down the lane and down the hill towards the Harboune River and as we start to run down to and along the river the weather starts to brighten up and off comes most of the rain jackets.

Along the river with scenic views up and down valleys onto the first beer stop. Although I had only done the Shorts I felt like this was going to be a hilly hash. With such great views of the local countryside and not having hashed here before I decided to stop and take a photo. A little further ahead we noticed the longs joining us and my thoughts of a beer stop weren’t too far from my mind. Luckily for me we weren’t too far away. We stopped at a T-junction and fuelled up on the usual sweets and drinks, waiting around and talking. After a bit we headed off up the road to the farm house for the first check of the second split. With 3 possible choices runners run to check, all 3 came back so with instructions from the hare we went through the gate on to the right hand side of the farmhouse and then up over the hill and making our way to Dittisham. Hashing up on the hills with great views of the river below. The weather was still nice with the odd drizzle, allowing us to admire the views of the cottage below (little known to us at the time we would be running past this cottage later). As we turn right away from the river and head down the valley a sudden urge comes over me, and with nowhere and unable to hold I tee myself up for a down down in the pub!

As they say in hashing, what goes down must go up and as we head down to the bottom of the hill over a small stream, we head left and then up the other side of the valley with a calf burning gradient. Over the top we start to make our way down a lane where we are met by Bigfoot and a hazard warning “Seaweed”. We have a choice, we can either get our feet wet and turn right or we can turn left, thinking I will turn left, I start to move only to realise that everyone else has gone right! So being a hasher and not wishing to look feeble I decide to turn right along the road towards the church. Down the road, we turn to look right up a hill and who do we find ambling down the hill, rucksacks with cups and plates dangling off them, Woolly hats and socks tucked in trousers, but Peanut and Dobby with a dummy’s guide to ramblers association walks in hand looking like they were cast in the next carry on camping film. Apparently they had decided to go for a ramble instead. We get to the bottom of the hill and turn left along the riverbed heading inland. Underfoot becoming boggy and negotiating trees we make our way along the bed. With a bottleneck over a log, I take a moment to admire the view of the river. We continue along and we begin to lose the riverbed so I start to wade through the rest up to the second beer stop. We stop take a rest. The hares are asked to which direction next, over the small bridge and Runnerbean and Chipmunk are at their finest with Chipmunk standing on the bridge and making everyone go under her legs, which Runnerbean is laughing that everyone has to ascend up the steps.
The third leg seem to be relatively short compared to the first two and before long we were back at Cornworthy and heading to The Hunters Inn. I calculated that the shorts were approximately 9 Miles and I was told that the longs were just under 11 miles. An excellent hash finished, I settle in the pub for a nice glass of lemonade. The down downs commence and the following culprits drink, with the exception of me as I nominate Double D to drink my down down for 2 very good reasons, firstly I was driving but more importantly she doesn’t like ale!:

Hares Bigfoot, Rise n Shine and Teararse for giving Dobby, Peanut and McFee a guidebook.

● Moonflower for arriving late

● Flowerpower for being an A 2 B virgin and also an unknown mishap on the hash

● Shes ready for wimping out on the hash and not going into the water

● Minibar for dropping his pants at the end of the hash.

● Paperwork for finishing the hash, laying on the grass and farting

● 3D for being left short on the hash.

The hash meeting is concluded, the pub is thanked and we leave the pub.

March 2017 Run No 118
A – Cheriton Bishop
B – Fingle Bridge Inn
Author: Vomit

After an uneventful drive up the A38, onto the tail end of the M5 I found myself in the throbbing metropolis, which is  Cheriton Bishop. My Passenger, GAFFER, informed me that he knew exactly where we should be, and ‘no he didn’t need sat nav’. He directed me to the villiage hall CP, where we sat, on our own for 10 minutes before it dawned on us that we were in the wrong place.

So off we went , looking for the correct one, picking up Capt PEACOCK and RETREAD, also lost, on the way. After a wrong turn or two, we were honked by LEGOVER and GYMSLIP, (PH3 chapter), who directed us into the correct CP, on the main road, which we’d passed at least twice.

Our journey though was not as eventful as WHISPERER’S, who has just purchased a very expensive electric car, because he loves Dolphins and wants to make the roads a safer place  for them. Unfortunately this car has a range of 30 miles and A was 31 miles from his front door! So he had to pop into Exeter services and ask around for an iPhone charger, (it’s the same apparently). Don’t know how he got home.

At the Circle Up, at the YFC CP,(look it up), which had a strange smell of piss about it, because of the constant stream,(get it?) of Hashers and Hasherettes nipping around the corner, in full view of the estate, next door. We were introduced to some vrigins, to cries of ‘Burn them’, they were STOOL IN A BAG, RUSS, CROOK LOCK, JOHN BOY and NO WONDER BRA.

Our Hares, WOODY and GYMSLIP,(not PH3 chapter) told us the usual lies of 8 and 12, and marks on the left, apart from when on the right or when none at all.

And off we went

Tales from the Hash 

On the long, yours truly, VOMIT; after a hard week, compounded by old age fell off the back of the longs and was left to die. More of that later.

WHISPERER, PAPERWORK, GAFFER,GYMSLIP, CLOUSEAU and THAT’S CRAP, (towed by LARKS VOMIT’S mutt) all sprinted off over the horizon and were not seen by me for hours.

After missing an arrow and spending time looking for the trail Capt. PEACOCK AND RETREAD also over took me, leaving me to my fate.

Hash profile over 12 miles

Meanwhile, on the Shorts:  Whilst approaching a stile HIV informed virgin ROSS, (later to be named), that as Hashers we must always follow the country code, which means using said stile and not climbing over the gate. Which ROSS duly did, whilst everyone else walked through the 15’ gap next to it, left by the open gate.

Back to the Longs: I,(VOMIT) arrived at the first beer stop, to find LARK’S VOMIT packing up. ‘Oh we thought you were dead’. And to be fair I did feel a bit dead. But after a nanna, choccy bar and oggin, I shuffled off, (not this mortal coil), but to chase the Shorts. I caught up with our Hares and the Shorts a couple of fields later. SHE’S READY, likes to run at the front of the Shorts and check, unfortunately after a week of ‘over mouth use’;( THAT’S CRAP looked quite content, thinking about it) she had lost her voice. So our shouts of ‘are you’ went unanswered, as she disappeared into the distance.

On the Long, they had run out of marks and were geographically challenged, so referred to a map, given to them by WOODY AND GYMSLIP,(not PH3 chapter), who couldn’t be arsed to sweep. This was when they discovered the trail they’d followed wasn’t on it! Far be it for me to say anything about ladies and maps; so I won’t.

Back On the Shorts, with my new mates; DOBBY, DOUBLE D, TWIGGY and big mutt, HIV, LEGOVER, McFEE, NO BUTT, RISE & SHINE, SHE’S READY, SOREPOINT, TEAR ARSE, POLECAT AND FLOPPY DICK + virgins, (already mentioned), we made it to the second beer stop.

LARK’S VOMIT was already set up and offering hot tea and chocolate, just as the weather turned and we got rinsed and blow dried.

Then the Longs arrived, in different states of despair, all blowing trying to keep up with COUSTEAU!

‘Ah VOMIT’, they said. ‘We were worried about you’, they said. ‘We were going to go looking for you’, they said. ‘But in the end we couldn’t be arsed’. I was touched.

Onto the final leg, somewhere near Castle Drogo, on the side of a pretty impressive valley.

Myself, SHE’S READY, TWIGGY and big mutt and COUSTEAU came upon a check, and then followed marks in the direction of said castle. But then they ran out; so we looked and looked but found no more. We about faced and returned to the check, to find it marked the other way! When questioned the hares said; ‘we didn’t want you to go that way, so we put grass on the marks’. They must have been too heavy to kick out then.

At the pub WHISPERER asked what the big B was, on the floor. Nuff said.

We showered and changed outside the Fingle Bridge Inn, to the bewilderment of Jack Sparrow and his girlfriend, then retired inside.

There was a fire, beer and chips and finally GAFFER stood up as RA.

RUSS was christened NO STYLE and there was beers for misdemeaners. There was singing.

I have endeavoured to mention everyone. If I’ve missed anyone please accept my appologies.

This is a true and accurate account of events, and if any of you disagree then don’t ask me again, I thank you

April will be care of HIV and GAFFER at BEL TOR CORNER, near DARTMEET. Details to follow.

June will be in conjunction with GISPERT GALLOP apparently.


February 2017
Words for 04th February Ivybridge run.

As we gathered round at the circle for the start, That’s Crap noticed  H.IV’s  gaily coloured sunglasses. ; Our farthest travelled hasher, Gatecrasher, had come down from Bristol, well done (by Canadian distances this is like going to the next door  neighbour to drink some beer). We started out (3 score runners) in blue sky and sunshine heading towards Ugborough Beacon; the longs went up to the tor, the shorts skated around the side. We were warned that much of the flour may have washed away and not to follow the wood shavings. But wood shavings ‘was all there was’ except for the odd remnants of checks!  And so the shorts waited for the longs further around the side of the beacon, and then we all descended to the first beer stop at the old woollen mill, led by the hares. Lovely cheesy feet from She’s Ready’s oven (obviously the flour better used here than on the trail), which also ‘went down lovely’ with hot chocolate. Then on on over the river and up a steep ascent back onto the moor; the longs went around a bigger loop. Through some very soft fields and paths covered in slurry (‘bigger modern cows’ making that many pints of milk a day involves creating a bit of by-product).   There wasn’t rain at this point but it was building ready for a downpour. On on we descended again to Cornwood village beer stop where there were horses out ‘n’ about. Vomit had been ‘apparently using technology on the run to watch the rugby’ and was noted. On on we went, the longs traversed a field in a kind of 200m slurry run. The third section was a bit of nervous blast for the longs.

Then we were down off the moor. Twiggy stopped to wash the dog, ever hopeful that was the end of the slurry. But it was not to be. A passage through the trees with flooded sections of fields followed and the heavens had now opened. Just before the under garments got very damp we arrived at ‘B’ in Lee Mill in a ‘West’ something pub carpark smoking den (couldn’t be bothered to read its full name as the rain lashed on hard).

To down downs: Vomit for the Rugby incident; and once we actually had got changed the R.A., Gaffer, had already ‘Run Away’. Paperwork engaged in paperwork on the hash, and he and Bilco arrived at the bar with no socks. McFee was reminded of the futility of washing shoes in puddles half way round a hash. DD had not the nerve to ring the ‘bell for bartender service’ – fearing Quasimodo? She’s Ready was remarked upon as the New R .A. for Plympton and That’s Crap rewarded it; he stood in for the departed R.A. and described how he might get picked upon under the new management. Happy Shopper sent his wife shopping as soon as he was back (we were all a bit wet).

 Devon A2B December Trail 2016

A: Steps Bridge Dunsford

B: Artichoke Inn Christow about 9.5 miles for the short, closer to 14 for the long

Weather: Grey, cold, damp, windy what are we doing here December weather.

Participants: 14 harriers, 3 hairs, 2 dogs, 1 Larks Vomit  + sundry hash groupies D Family rug rats & their cute little 9 week old puppy that got passed round the pub (Ahhhh!) in as severe a case of Fluffy Animal Syndrome as I’ve seen for a long time.

Steps Bridge is as good a place to start as any and we were all there early for once stood around like penguins waiting for the off. We thought we had another arrival but it turned out to be some innocent civilian hoping he had got to Fingle Bridge instead.

We set off early at 12:41:23sec as we could not stand the chill any longer, straight up through the woods, the longs went up one way, the shorts another and apart from a brief halt at the second beer stop did not meet again till we got to B. Woods gave way to fields then footpaths and green lanes and a little bit of road took us to the first beer stop in Bridford village.

The second leg sent us close to Rowdon Rock then down the road and left through the woods beside Kennick Reservoir and an easy run down to the second beer stop by the dam. After a bit of confusion over an ambiguously placed arrow we set off again to the lower Tottiford Reservoir, across the dyke in the middle, dog legged out of the woods then green lanes and footpaths out to tarmac, civilisation and the Artichoke Inn. Good trail, nicely balance & easy to follow.

The pub had a good selection of beer and what looked like an overpriced menu for hashers till you looked closer and saw that half the money went to the cancer appeal “Save our Mum”, the food looked good especially the ham egg & chips. Paper Work braved the heckling with Down-Downs for the hares and the usual misdemeanours but he struggled to get the attention of those involved in the intense, competitive, puppy handling going on at our end of the bar.

The next A2B is January 7th 2017 I’ll be laying a short trail round the ski resort you’re all welcome to join me                        On On……… HIV

Devon A2B 5th November 2016  PDF with Pictures
From a carpark in the middle of nowhere, to Moorlands Hotel, Wotter (NE of Plymouth, on the edge of Dartmoor). Hares: Gymslip & Legover; 20 hounds, a couple of dogs and Larks Vomit supplying dray as usual.
Virgin: Harry
RA: Bilko
What a glorious day! Crisp, dry, sunny, a bit chilly, but for November, it was perfect. After the usual coercing of scribe and RA, introductions and information (a smidge under 10 for the shorts, 15 for the longs, might not be any flour left on the first 2 legs as it rained overnight) we were sent off in the direction of a short near vertical uphill scramble across the road from the carpark. Not long after we were back down again, across the road, and peering around for very washed out remnants of flour and keeping our eyes on the hare for clues about the general direction. We followed a stream for quite a while along a potentially ankle twisting/breaking non-path, then eventually across it, through a stone circle and up onto the moor. A hastily re-marked check (plenty more of those were to come) had us searching in various directions until eventually we were called on, in the general direction of somewhere between Sheepstor and Leather Tor.

I don’t know Dartmoor very well, living on the East Devon/Somerset border, but Sheepstor looked familiar to me, and on further investigation I discovered that it was where a bunch of us from Taunton Hash spent the night wild camping (no tents) in summer 2016 on a weekend hike. The night sky and shooting stars were amazing.
Burrator Reservoir was very low (according to Cousteau that’s because the tide was out), and the longs arrived at the first regroup before the shorts, so for once we got first pick of the sweets and refreshments. However, it also meant that we waited the longest and got coldest before setting off again! Double D, Sorepoint and Rise ‘n’ Shine mislaid the trail somewhere in the woods and arrived at the regroup after the rest of the pack had moved on, after adding an extra mile or so to their route. Not only did they find the hot chocolate, but Larks also kindly gave them a lift to a suitable rendezvous so that they didn’t have to spend the rest of the day trying to catch up. What a gentleman.
The 2nd leg started much as the first had done, ie up a near vertical incline before the long-short split. Cora must be feeling fitter than usual as she did the second leg with TC, and didn’t try wriggling out of her harness this time. Longs were sent along another stream, through some woods, past some ponies, up onto open moor and in more or less a big left hand sweep to Meavy.

Through the churchyard, down the hill, across another stream, and back up the other side into some fields and more woods. Whisperer, Cousteau and Harry were last seen heading off in the wrong direction, leaving Bell Toll, Twiggy, Paperwork and That’s Crap sticking close to Gymslip when the flour wasn’t visible. We caught up with the shorts just before the 2nd regroup, where Whisperer, Cousteau and Harry had already arrived, having not gone wrong after all, just fast.

Where next? Not really sure, but it definitely involved more moor, more woods, an "illegal" field crossing with some barbed wire to negotiate, more very steep downs and ups, and more river crossings. Nearing the end we could almost see the carpark where we’d started, but it was just out of sight in a dip. A mile or so of fairly level running on springy turf took us over the crest to a sweeping view across to Plymouth and the Channel, and then to the on inn at Moorlands Hotel. If only we’d known Gymslip’s and Legover’s room number we could have all dumped our bar bill on them!
Excellent river crossings – all either narrow enough to jump over or with stepping stones, so although not everyone managed it, many of us kept our feet dry.
Many thanks to the hares and to Larks for keeping us going with the usual excellent array of drinks and snacks.
On on! Twiggy
Down downs:
1. Hares – Gymslip & Legover
2. Water themed nominations:

Tear Ass for crossing the first river on the stepping stones and then falling in at the end – Wet Ass
Cousteau for "tide’s out" comment

She’s Ready for heading off into the bushes at the first beer stop when there were public toilets 20yds up the road
She’s Ready got the down down.

3. Double D, Rise’n’Shine and Sorepoint for losing themselves in the woods – Sorepoint took the punishment.

4. Madam Cyn fell over after getting her foot stuck in a hole and then stumbled over a fallen tree trunk. Catflap was the sinner for ignoring his wife’s predicament and running right past. Chivalry is dead!
Blackdown Beast details
£10 entry fee, in aid of MacMillan Cancer Support. It’s a bit like a hash with pasty/pub stops along the way.
Great atmosphere and well organised by Honiton Running Club.
Details and online entries at http://www.honitonrc.com/blackdown-beast-jan.html

HASH:   1 Oct 2016                                    
VENUE:  the Monks Retreat, Broadhempston     
HARES:  Big Foot, McFee, Rise & Shine & Shortie,
We were directed to the village hall car park where there was ample space for us and we were told that there was no need to carry our bags to the transport car as point B was not far from point A!!  In fact point B was the same as point A and throughout the trail we were never more than 2 miles from the pub.  We were told we could also see the church most of the way around, a fact that one of the hares, Mc Fee took seriously whilst she was helping set the run because at one stage she couldn’t see the church for a mile or so and she was getting decidedly worried.

That’s Crap called us to circle up and a very small select group we were this month, 14 hashers and 4 hares.  We had a virgin A2Ber Polecat and a virgin RA in the shape of Spiderman.  We all headed up the lane out of the village and the longs went off to the right.  A while later Bilko and Sore Point thought they could hear the calls of the longs but it turned out to be the whistle from the steam train on the South Devon Railway.  On one of the short loops Polecat, Bucks Fizz and Bilko lost the marks and almost ended up back in the village square and the pub, that would have been an effort to drag ourselves back onto the trail, when we retraced our steps we found an obvious check that wasn’t there when we went thru the first time.  At the first beer stop provided by Larks and Double D, Whisperer was so desperate to get to a drink that he knocked over about 4 cans of Redbull which were on top of the cool box, 2 of them split showering his face.  He spent the rest of the trail blinking at twice the normal rate.  Sore Point missed an arrow in the woods 1 metre long made from thick branches, she nearly missed a 2nd slightly smaller one in the same woods but definitely noticed the 3rd one which 3 hashers duly followed her down a steep path only for Big Foot to call them back as they were going the wrong way.  Back up the path they trudged “But we were following an arrow” she declared.  “Ah don’t know about that one”, said Big Foot, “I didn’t put that there”

The only bit of gossip I got from the long runners was of Manpig telling some sort of shaggy dog story to do with deodorant which went on and on.  Big Foot ended up sticking marshmallows into his ears.

Back in the pub That’s Crap asked the barmaid for 20 halves of beer, more beer than the number of hashers. 

The nominations were:

That’s Crap – normally very sure-footed tripped on an extra large blade of grass

Twiggy – was heard to say – You hold mine and I’ll hold yours ! Turns out she and TC were helping their dogs over the stiles

Big Foot – for declaring that he had laid some of the trail in black runner bean seeds

Can’t remember who won it, must have been TC, he seemed to be downing ½ pints most of the evening !!

A short AGM followed with the following awards:
Hasher of the Year – Double D
Dray Person of the Year – Larks Vomit
Pillock of the Year – Whisperer
Best Down Down – That’s Crap
Wettest Trail – That’s Crap and She’s Ready
Shiggiest Trail – Paperwork and Sore Point
Scenic Trail – Mouthful and No but
Scribe of the Year – Bilko
RA of the Year – That’s Crap
Best OnDown – That’s Crap and She’s Ready (Ship Inn)

September A2B
Ashburton Away Weekend 02/09/16-04/09/16
Bracken Tor, Oakhampton

This was our first away weekend with Ashburton and it certainly won't be our last. It was jam packed with lots of red dresses, sacking the chef, the A2B, rain, beer stops, more rain, fancy dress, games and the hang over hash. This was a day to late for some, not naming any names Gromit.

Friday- Hasher's turned up in dribs and drabs from about 4pm, with the hares for the A2B , No Butt and Mouthful having already out and about laying for the following days trail but one person who had the beer, cider, food, oh and the trail for the red dress hash had yet to be seen. Boggy. Panic was starting to set in for the No Butt as it was approaching tea time and the red dress trail was due to start at 7pm. Luckily Hasher's being Hasher's and these being nice people, 3D and Paperwork got some flour and set about completing a trail for the red dress hash.

After food it was circle up time, many looking fetching in their red dresses, I think a few of the children looked a bit disturbed by a couple of the outfits, mainly That’s Crap. The hares advised that the hash started from the flag at the end if the drive and it had run over some of the trail for the A2B yet many started off and decided to check at a marking prior to the flag, it's great to see people listen to instructions.

We made our way along the trail while some walked straight down the main road to town. 3D the kids and I stopped for one drink as previous lack of sleep was catching up with us all and knowing the hill coming down opted for a taxi back up (it's great when you have kids cos you can use them as the excuse to be lazy). We slowly had small groups head back up to the hostel out of breath from the climb up the hill muttering that they wish they got taxis. Most got back at a reasonable hour unlike gromit and those that had to help him get to bed.

Saturday- The Chefs get sacked…..

Breakfast had all been arranged Boggy was buying the food and Strapo was cooking it Saturday morning, unfortunately Swampy got stuck at work on Friday and they weren't turning up til the Saturday. There were rumours that they were going to make it to start breakfast but at 8am Boggy took the task in hand with the help from others and prepped and cooked breakfast for 31. At one point I know No Butt had concerns that people running the A2B may get hungry as we wouldn't have time for lunch but that worry was far out the window as it was more brunch. As Strapo arrived just prior to breakfast being served he was sacked, and then shortly reinstated for Sunday's breakfast.

Gromit finally made it out of bed with a very dreary look about him was whisked off to Kay the last section of the trail with Mouthful.

Circle up time for the A2B at Bracken Tor youth hostel and with the 31 already there for the away weekend we had another 13 turn up just for the A2B. A great turn out and the weather was staying positive despite the forecast. No Butt being the only hare at point A sorted out her VIPs (the children), advised it was 3 on with 4 long short splits, any short cutters and VIPS to stay with her. As onon that way was called the rain started.

It all seems a bit of a blur to where we went as it kepted raining and I was watching my feet more than the scenery. The first shorts headed in to some woods where we appeared to be following a Pre organised race with orange coloured flags. We still checked for flour marks just incase. We met the first beer stop at the railway station which was where the VIPs caught the train to the next section. That's crap made a swift exit with an injury to B to enjoy the dry and the wetness of some beer. He has now been nicknamed uncle TC for looking after Runnerbean, least this time she wasn't sick on him.

Some of us shorts arrived before the longs and decided to take the next long and realised we had to now do the checking. Big mistake as Sorepoint, Bigfoot, Chewing Gum and I decided to take some if the previous night's trail and headed off to town where we bumped into Spotty Bott who appeared to be making up his own hash. He decided to leave us lost Hasher's and get up to the train station to meet No Butt and jump the next stage. Not sure that happened either. The lost ones decided to make our way back up to previous check where we spotted the longs and that was the last we saw of the longs as they shot off. We made it back on track which helped from fresh marks as Gromit and Mouthful had made it back and was remarking, we found the new marks and followed a footpath along a private road to the left of the castle and again from there i think we went into woods again and bridal paths and made it to the next beer stop, it was still raining.

The last section took us on the moor where the weather was really turning and the mist coming in. Sorepoint and I continued to follow the long at this point as we could see a couple of Hasher's and a hare on the long, great we thought, we won't get lost with the hare until he said I didn't lay this bit Gromit did and we lost each other earlier. Oh we thought,maybe the short would have been the better option. We started to lose the trail when we saw gromit, great he knows where he's going, not fully the case. We started to make our way down of the tor to see mint and chewing gum (good combination) running back along the top in the opposite direction, after shouting them brown they said they had been to the trig point but couldn't see any more flour other than that on the trig, the hares looked at each other and went, we haven't been up to the tor and there shouldn't have been four up there. Good job we spotted them.

Once at the bottom and on the no 27 cycle path we asked gromit how much further, not far just a little way up this road what felt like 2miles later, oh wait it was 2miles later we made it to B, oh and it was still raining until the last person made it back to the pub and it stopped.

Down downs went to:

That's Crap for his child minding duties
Spotty bit for getting lost, not only once but twice, he didn't make the train either and blue toothing his music on Friday night to then walk out the room with his phone.
Gromit for being needing to be out to bed the first night
Paperwork for irritating twiggy on the minibus and for trying to juggle badly with pool balls and dropping them on the wooden floor whilst some were suffering with hang overs.
Boggy for breakfast and for then heading to Plymouth to watch the footy.
Poacher for his birthday the following week.
Game Bird - one drink then bed on Friday night
Cheesy Chips for having no trainers to hash in and blaming others for lack if them.
Tadpole for wearing a size 22 dress on the red dress hash, bearing mind he could probably get into a size 8.
Gromit announced on Friday night circle up 7:45 to 6 people and wondered how many he missed.
Dick Sack offering his room mates breakfast in bed.
3D luring That's Crap in to babysitting duties by offering to drive him around and buy him a pint.
Big Foot for moaning the trail was over the 15 mile limit but added he did get lost.
The hares No Butt and Mouthful.

It was then a night of spooky fancy dress , games and drinking and singing. Guzunder had arrange a treasure hunt where our kids deserted us for the youngsters, we had to wrap the hasher to make a mummy, first team to wrap their hasher with 2 toilet rolls won, guess the missing hasher and guess the food in the jelly. A great way to start the evening and signing and dancing til the very early hours.

Sunday, breakfast slightly more calmer, all ready and waiting for us all and then panic hit that the gluten free sausages hadn't been cooked, sacked again strapo.

Joint hang over hash with city of Exeter, I've had enough if typing and can imagine your bored reading so see city if exeter for the hash write up.

Thanks to all involved to make it a great weekend and we'll done No Butt who organised it all.

On on Double D