Words for December 2013 - Malborough

DEVON A2B HASH HOUSE HARRIERS – WORDS FOR 7^th DECEMBER 2013

Point A: Malborough Village Car Park (South Hams Car Crime Capital)

Point B: Victoria Inn, Salcombe

Hares: Meavy Maid & Cow Pat

Attendees:  circa 25 (including a significant South Hams H3 turn-out – well done)

I turned up at the village hall car park in Marlborough to find only Ivy-F and Paraprick there, but  sure enough everybody soon started to arrive in typical hash fashion (Last minute) And as always Man- pig was late! It was so cold waiting around in the car park that Tierd Bunny proceeded to pick up the nearest dog and started hugging it in a desperate attempt at trying to keep warm! Obviously not a tough northerner like me.  Paperwork turned up with his wife( sorry can’t remember her hash name) and proceed to sort stuff out in the boot of his car for the hash and then proceeded to slam the boot of the car shut, only to find out that the keys were now locked in the car. A young girl came to the rescue with a wire coat hanger and we wedged the top of the door open and all pretty much had a go at breaking into their car without much success! (we would not make very good car thieves!  Eventually after a fair bit of struggling Paperwork managed to get in an retrieve the keys.  Then we were off and on to the first check almost right away, the correct route was soon found. A few checks in though the story was not the same as the hair Meavy Maid seemed to be a little confused and was unsure of which was the correct route to take. This seemed to be a bit of a theme for the rest of the hash. We eventually reached the first beer stop which was epic! Larks Vomit had done a great job, with all sorts of goodies on offer from coffee, energy drinks and beer of course to all manner of snacks! We were soon off again and came to another long short split. I took the short, but I soon ended up joining the longs again as Cow Pat had no idea which way the short was meant to go. We eventually ended up at South Sands for a second regroup/beer stop and refuelled some more then we were off again heading back out towards the main road. A few more miles and we eventually reached the end of another epic  A2B hash at the Victoria Inn in Salcombe. The Jerk did an excellent job as R.A and down downs were awarded to the Hairs and erm… a few other people whom I have forgotten (Gymslip for a dodgy 70’s porn star moustache a la Peter Wingard style and also to Sore-Point & Paperwork for locking both sets of keys in their car!). The shorts were about 10.5 miles and the Longs were about 12.5.

On-on to the next A2B.

Tosser.

Words for November A2B Double portions

Paperwork’s version:

Shat Nav finally got fed up with Man Pig and decided to start the proceedings, usual stuff plus the hares promised SAS style awards if you did all the longs. Man Pig then arrived and proceeded to say everything  Shat Nav had, but got shouts of ‘Done It’.

Off we went, road, trees, fields, mud, footpaths, 1st beer stop Cousteau  was as bleeding from his hand, or should I say paw because he was chasing a  dog (perhaps it had flour on its back) and he managed to fall over it.

Anyway he decided that blood was not the colour he liked because it clashed with his running kit, so he washed it off. Donuts, home made cake and usual paraphernalia at the beer stop.

Off we went trees, fields, mud, footpaths and then the long short split,  paperwork decided he was too old to join the SAS so took the short, shouldn’t have bothered along with Tosser and Monthly Cycle got lost and  ended up doing the same as the longs plus missed the 2nd beer stop.

Got to ‘B’ proper hashers pub with a warm welcome and a landlord willing  to recommend the cheaper drinks.

Down downs were Paperwork for leading 2 virgins astray Tosser and Monthly Cycle Man pig got 2 down downs, the usual plus 1 down his back from Monthly Cycle after much egging on from the masses, don’t fret the one down his   back was water and not beer.
 

The best also ran in the down down stakes this week goes to GymSlip who was having trouble getting served at the pub at Oct A To B so striped naked and paraded around – that was the story I heard anyway!

　

Sorepoint’s version/additions:

Arrived early, at 12 as google maps thought it would take longer than it did to get there. Hoped we were in the right place, until Shat Nav arrived. I could then start pestering everyone for money as they arrived.

Five virgins this month: Monthly Cycle and Tosser already mentioned in despatches above, also Potato Head, Flat Pack and Doc Cock. I didn’t see much of any of these on the run, as they are athletes and I am used to bringing up the rear!

A bit of road to start with to get out of Ivybridge then up the river valley towards the moor. A quick hop over a VERY windy Hanger Down moor with loads of horses in a herd that we thought were cows! I think the longs missed this bit, or went further round the bottom of the hill?

Anyway, down into Cornwood for the first re-group, next to the pub. Only next to I hasten to mention, not in. There was more than enough goodies in Larks car to keep us happy though and thanks must go to Zoot for the excellent banana cake.

Off we went again and as I’d already done 5 miles by now, my memory is a  little hazy, but we passed a lot of china clay works but luckily didn’t  have to climb the huge slag heap. Second re-group attained, but where were half the pack? We’d had a long short split a little way back and so  it was that the shorts managed to out-run half the longs and get to the cake first. As mentioned above, Paperwork was leading two newbies astray and never made it to the re-group at all. They’ll be wanting their money back!

Off we went again, short cut was mostly along the road, past the Moorland inn – that’s the second pub we passed without entering you note, and the end was finally at the White Thorn in Shaugh Prior.

The shorts managed to total up 12 miles in quite tough terrain.  Not quite ready for the SAS yet!

 

December 7th 12.30 Malborough

Malborough Village Hall Car Park grid ref SX 710398   (opposite the Garage )

Cow Pat and MeavyMaid are the hares and have recommended taking torches as the days are getting shorter and the night draws in by mid afternoon at this time of year. Either that or it's a blinkin' long trail.

Gentlemen DO NOT SHAVE your Movember's off as Man-Pig wants to see whose is the most impressive - you may even get a down down who knows?