DEVON A2B HASH HOUSE HARRIERSWORDS FOR SATURDAY 4th JUNE 2011
Well first of all can I just say I am not very good at writing the words so if they are poor please blame Manpig for my nomination! Ok moaning out of the way on with the story.
Well
once upon a time in a car park not so far away a fine day it was, in
fact so fine the hashers of the Devonshire A 2 B were worried about the
temperature they were about to face. But not to fear as King Mavis appeared on his chariot to put all of the fine hasher’s minds at rest.
King Mavis unfortunately
was unable to help his disciples as he himself was already sweating
from the heat and only confirmed our fears that it was in fact a long
journey of 14 miles we had ahead. King MAVIS
had other bad news that our steeds that we had travelled in to this
holy meeting place of’ The McDonalds’ car park may not be safe from the
evil ticket sheriffs, what shall we do we cried?? King Mavis yet again failed us by stating his glorious red steed was safe elsewhere & he didn’t care!....
All was at a loss until Queen Peanut in
her chariot arrived. With the King and Queen hares united knowledge was
spread that our steeds would be fine tied up and that on our long
journey ahead there would be bread and water stops for their hashers.
The village idiot Manpig was so overwhelmed by the queens’ bulging cloths he thought there were two of her! King Mavis
quickly announced in a booming voice ‘WE HAVE LAID A HASH’ which
brought the poor fellow out of his trance. Two virgin hashers were
announced, the king’s new entertainer Airfix and the Queens stable boy Slamdunk, as always they were welcomed with open arms. After a quick sketch was drawn of the hashers by the artist known as Shatnav the A 2 B was underway.
Under a tunnel we went on our merry wee way,
22 in all to follow the lay
22 in all to follow the lay
There was Sierra Delta &Sore point to name just a few,
Miss Whiplash who’s legs soon went askew.
Miss Whiplash who’s legs soon went askew.
Airfix announced he’d been on a sun bed
to darken his skin for a shoot in the med.
to darken his skin for a shoot in the med.
There were leaps and bounds with many great hounds
and with that stories you will hear in the down downs.
and with that stories you will hear in the down downs.
BIGFOOT & SHORTY together they ran
but soon lost each other in the wild green land.
but soon lost each other in the wild green land.
‘ON ON’ cried Paper work at the front of the pack
who soon found a fish hook to send us all back.
who soon found a fish hook to send us all back.
Along a lane we ran and my leg felt a twitch,
Sierra Delta said that this was my ditch
where I fell & I cried and lay on my side
until the fair maiden took me aside.
Sierra Delta said that this was my ditch
where I fell & I cried and lay on my side
until the fair maiden took me aside.
‘Come with me’ she said I know a good witch’
and took me away to get a wee stitch.
and took me away to get a wee stitch.
But now back to today’s injury free lay,
running by fields of long lucious hay,
bounding along as one happy troop
and on to see Zombie at the first of the re-groups.
Sweets and treats were waiting ahead
where Peanut & Mavis had already led
We
drank and we ate and before it was too late
we put cream on our backs
to helps stop the cracks
then off we ran and followed a plan
to the next
regroup down by the sand.
Here we found a very deep moat
where the only way to cross was via a
boat, t
he man we paid with gold and sweat,
one foot ashore and of we set
‘ON ON’ we cried to the third stop we fled,
hunting for clues as the chalk had gone dead
until Mavis was seen and we all became keen to carry on running and keep our selves lean
hunting for clues as the chalk had gone dead
until Mavis was seen and we all became keen to carry on running and keep our selves lean
Another split and I muttered ‘O S**T’ as I had lost the pack
and was at the back,
never fear said Queen Peanut just follow trail,
soon you’ll find the hashers without fail
Faster I strode to catch up the others
and soon found Miss Whiplash the fairy god mother
More I pushed and became the front person
to find the ‘On Home’ and The Bishop John De Grandisson.
So now on to ye old down downs with Melon Picker as RA! Obviously King Mavis & Queen Peanut received the finest chalice of ale for a very fine hash followed by Shatnav for his portrait taking at the beginning, Big foot & Shorty for despite completing 96 Marathons managing to loose each other!, then there are the Dogging matters….Soapy for just pure lies about the quality of training of her dog, Chucky for bad handling and going doggy style??..., Miss Whiplash for not blaming her fall on the dog! And Cathusalem for lifting dogs over gates then walking through them! aswell as gracing us with a verse about something called Prostitutes?? Never heard of them myself…Umm then of course Manpig for being entranced in Queen Peanuts..…, Arc Angel for hashing or not hashing at all?? Who knows and finally Spank the Monkey just because she has a fantastic name!!
AGM:Well pretty much unchanged! So we have:
GM- Manpig
Hash Cash- Sore Point
Hon Sec- Cow Pat
Hare Raser- Shatnav
Beer Meister- Paper Work
Haberdasherir- Peanut
Next months hash, the 50th! Big Foot & Shorty at The Red Lion in Dittershum!
ON ONPlastic Pig!