Friday, 28 June 2013

Words Cornworthy Trail June 2013

It almost went pear shaped from the start, with a wedding in the village!!

Well done to the hares for a quick change of start venue.  This change of start venue was later used by Bigfoot to base his decision to run back to the village when he lost the trail.  He reckoned as A was outside the village “B” would be in the village.  (That was the last we had seen of him).  That’s Crap said if anyone was worried, we would have a minute silence for him when we have the hash circle.


As we gathered in the make-shift car park, on a lovely sunny day, Gymslip arrived on his push bike.  Something about not trusting his wife, Legover’s driving.  Gaffer arrived in a toy car.  Something about not trusting the wife, Yeuck’s direction.  Man-pig arrived with Hotlips and Zoot.  Something about them not trusting his time keeping. It is the first time Man-Pig has been on time.  Vomit turned up at 100 mph after Man-pig so he must have been late!!  Vomit was without his wife, something about she was still doing her make up!


On the way to the hash Gymslip (on his bike) was inspired to peddle as fast as he could to try and catch a distant slim female figure (also on a bike wearing very tight lycra).  (Mumbles as Man-Pig would say – ask him).  After busting a gut up-hill for 20 minutes Gymslip eventually caught up with the female cyclist, when she turned around, Gymslip noticed she has a beard.


Sorepoint was driving under the instruction from Paperwork.  Sorepoint said she was made to come in a weird kind of way (must have been the cobbles or maybe the potholes).


A great hash. Apart from the hills and there were plenty of them, almost as many up as down!  On one of the downhill bits SierraDelta had a close encounter with K9.  Getting entangled with her feet, it was like something out of river dance.  SierraDelta did not even break stride.  She negotiated the down hill, rocks, dog and other hashers, stayed on her feet and kept running.


Shortie was doing very well until she realised she was on the long trail.  So she turned back after about 1 mile of a 2 mile split, ending up doing a longer trail.  If she carried on with the long trail she might have come across Bigfoot doing it backwards (that’s what he said he did anyway).


At the first beer stop we were told we could have a pub stop if we wanted to. That’s like waving a red flag in front of a bull.  It was in fat the Red Lion in Diddisham.  So a few went in and had a beer on the balcony, in the sunshine, nice.


On the next part of the trail we had some more hills.  We came acroos the are and a long/short split.  Half a mile to the beer stop for the shorts and two and a half miles for the longs.


8 miles later we the OH, missing the second beer stop as it was a little off the trail (good job we stopped in the Red Lion).


At the on down, the Malters Arms in tucker Hay, we all sat outside on the river’s edge having beer.


McFee was running drivers back to retrieve their cars.  On the second trip, That’s Crap and Hotlips were in the back of the car.  McFee was trying to control the car on the very steep car park exit.  There was an awful smell in the car. Hotlips said it was her crutch.  That’s crap said if it was her crutch she needs to go see a mechanic and get some cream.  McFee was showing off her driving(rallying) skills on the way back to the cars.  So much so, Hotlips said he could not find his way back to the pub as he had his eyes closed all the time!


Your RA for the day, Gaffer did downdowns for most of the aforementioned along with the hares, McFee, Teararse and Paraprick.


Gaffer thought Twiggy was shy and very quiet, when given a downdown she said “It’s a good job your wife is here, or I would show you shy and quiet!”


She’s Ready, for showing off her gashes. Some of them you wouldn’t like to look at twice!


Also, A2B virgin, BearEssentials, who is only 14. First real drink. Half paint of real ale (so his dad thought so!!!).  downdown in record time. He later got stopped by the police for Drink Driving!!(only kidding)


OnOn to next month


That’s Crap

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